Halfway to the finish line....♥

Thinking of tomorrow makes me feel excited. Hurray...its time for holiday. Nothing much to do at office and here I am updating my blog with some story to share with you guys...

I'm at my 20 weeks of pregnancy and everything is new for me. Do you guys remember about my post I Wish I Could Have My Own Baby ? Nah.....my dream came true now. lol. I feel excited about it but feel scare at the same time. There are too many things came into my mind.

Am I gonna be a good mother? Am I able to taking care of my baby? Am I able to breastfeed my baby? And worst, am I able to giving birth normally? Can I endure all the pain? What kind of preparation that I should do next and etc.....

My 1st semester of pregnancy is worst. I can't eat, sleep, sitting or lying nor working well. I'm having super extreme morning sickness and I can feel my head is spinning 24/7. It feel like I'm drunk but without the alcohol. I'm allergic (does it appropiate to use this term to describe it?) with anything that related to chicken. KFC, McD, chicken soup, meat or etc. It makes me puke just watching my husband took a bite of fried chicken wing.

I don't have appetite to eat like what I'm used to be during normal days. I can only eat seafood like crab meat and squid, kiwi fruit, sweet corn soup and some mango. When moving to 2nd semester of pregnancy my appetite is getting better. During the 9th weeks, me and my hubby make an appointment with private doctor. It was our 1st time and we're clueless about to do or to expect. I am nervous when the doctor asked me to lying down. I have no idea bout it so I just follow the doctor's instruction. She put some liquid and pointing the device to my belly.

I try to stay calm and remain silence. Then the doctor's asked me to look at the monitor and for the 1st time I saw the image of my tiny baby. It was amazing and watching this wonderful creatures growing up in my womb make me speechless.

Now I am halfway to the finish line. My tiny baby is getting bigger each day. We got new nickname for our baby Little Ninja because our baby is starting to seem like a kick-boxer in training. My little ninja weighted up to 10.5oz and measures about 10.5 inch this week. Great wasn't it? 

Normally moms will have an ultrasounds at their 20th weeks to know their baby gender. But I have to wait for another 3 weeks because my next appointment will be on 11th Nov 2012. Hopefully we can find out whether this little ninja is boy or girl. Hihi. Excited!!

Will try to upload my pregnancy pictures after asked permission with little ninja's dad. lol

Again...

Morning kiss and warm hug really made my day. Again, as usual he kiss me at my forehead and cheek. Talking to our baby. It feel so warm and tender. I can't believe this man can act in such a loving way. Caring and gentle...

Before our marriage, he is the most selfish person that I've ever met in my life. The short-tempered. Arrogant. Ego. Annoying. Ignoring. Jerk. He like to brag about himself. Trust me. He did.... During our long distance relationship period, even in this era of ICT and technology he don't even bother to give you phone call, text messaging or email by daily basis. It was lucky enough if you can get phone call or chat, email and fb-ing with him two or three times a week.

I try my best to put myself in his shoes. I know his top priority was his study, his family, his friend and I was the top bottom in the list. As his women, sometime I feel suffocate in this situation. I need his attention , his love and some cares. I don't ask too much. We are miles and miles away from each other. Sometime I feel lonely. When I need him, he can't always be there for me... Sometime I was thinking to give up. But at last, what I did is endure all the pain and to love him unconditionally. Be a women that a man need...

I guess it was right when people says if you can handled that person at their worst, you are deserved to have them at their best. After graduate he came to work in Miri. He choose to work here so that he could spent more time with me. He felt sorry because he can't spent much time for me before. Every weekend we will out for a date. Watching movies, dinner, fetch me back from work. I feel alive. It was a fresh new start for us. We don't have chance to go for a date before so we take this opportunity to do what we can't do last time. Dating like other couple. It was funny and flashing back those day make me laughed alone... Thanks God  for letting us together ♥

When I came to know him in person, I realize that he is so loving. Even though he might not show but deep inside he really protective and caring. He is not the romantic type that would give u flower or an awesome poet. Even though he like to brag about himself, he is shy and preserved at the same time. During Valentine Day he bought me a huge box of Cadbury Chocolate and wrote me a letter. It was a few weeks after our wedding and he sent the gifts to my office. I was surprised. I didn't expect him to do that...

This is the first Valentine gift from him... It's not the most expensive chocolate or luxury gift but it really meaningful to me. Life after marriage is the best for me. I am blessed to be loved by him. I am blessed with our baby. I believe that love does change people. And I can see it in my hubby. Marriage life can be tough and rough sometime...but I believe if we willing to tolerate, willing to share and discuss our problem it wont be hard for us to overcome the problem or any obstacles that might come in our way.

Trust and honesty is the most important in any relationship. In marriage you shouldn't not have any kind of secrecry between you and your partner. Having your partner as your best friend is good because you can share everything with him/her without any hesitation and it can create good communication channel between both of you.

Happily ever after like what we saw in movies or read in fairy tales does not exist. But we need to work hard to maintain our relationship and to preserve our love so it will last forever. Im thankful to have understanding partner like him and I can see he trying his best to be a better man. We can't expect our partner to be perfect but what we can do is to support them and love them just the way they are.

For my hubby, thank you for loving me. May God Bless you my dear...

Engagement & Wedding

You are not the air that I breathe,
you are the sweet scent that drifts upon it

You are not the sounds that I hear,
you are the music of my life

You are not the food that I need,
you are the nourishment of my soul

You are not my will to survive,
you are my reason for living

It is with you that I experience
the wonders of the world

It is with you that I triumph
over the challenges in my path

It is your partnership that will lead me
to the fulfillment of my dreams

It is your friendship that guides me
as I grow and learn

It is your patience and wisdom
that calms my restless nature

It is through you that I know my true self

I do not take you for granted,
I cherish you

I do not need you
I choose you

I choose you today in witness
of all the people who love us

I choose you tomorrow
in the privacy of our hearts

I choose you in strength and weakness

I choose you in health and sickness

I choose you in joy and sorrow

I will choose you, over all others, every day
for all the days of my life

-  Rebecca W. -

I will engage & getting married soon. Wish me all the happiness.

2012 gonna bring me to the new chapter of my life.

To be a lover, a partner & a wife